Losing It All
by zc2007
Summary: What happens when someone you're close to is directly involved in a murder enquiry? How do you react? When Catherine is trapped in this dilemna it really does seem like she's losing it all.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, this is the first thing I've ever written so don't be too mean. Oh and I don't own the programme or anything to do with it.

**Chapter 1- Finding a body**

**Grissom:**

For most people, the announcement that a dead body has been recently discovered within your local area is an occurrence deemed to be horrifying, and fairly unimaginable, but for Gill Grissom and his team this was a completely routine situation. It was not that they were situated in a specifically rough area, or that they were in with a dodgy crowd of people, it was simply that they had chosen an occupation with the Crime Investigation lab, so this was yet another opportunity for them to display their extraordinary abilities in solving cases, whilst gaining yet more publicity -although this often included hostility from the relatives, or companions of the accused, and more obviously, the accused themselves.

Gill Grissom had never wondered why he had opted for a career in this particular field, his life had just seemed to follow that direction and everything had fitted into place and now he was high up in this specific vocation, although still nothing ceased to amaze him. "You see crimes are not a predictable thing, that's why my job interests me." He would tell acquaintances in various other lines of work, but as well as this, he loved the excitement of solving the case, and the self-assurance that came with knowing that he was of use to the world and was in fact helping to make it a safer place. Apprehending law breakers was something that he could be proud of, and for good reason, what other way was there of making sure the most dangerous people in Las Vegas, and the world for that matter, were kept behind bars? And now there was yet another opportunity for him to become a defender of everyone out there, because in his eyes, everyone was worth saving no matter what age or race, so long as they were not the perpetrator of the crime he was about to solve……._**they**_ deserved to rot in jail. So Grissom strode sedately to his uniform black car, with every intent to solve this crime efficiently, whilst continuing to correctly identify correlations between suspects and the evidence that he and his team would shortly be retrieving.

**Warrick:**

Almost the second Warrick arrived at the crime lab, he was sent out again, however he had not disobeyed any rules or attended work inappropriately dressed, it was a simple case of a crime scene in great need of investigating. He was not irritable from being unable to purchase a coffee on his journey to work, although he would have felt better for the caffeine. He'd become accustomed to barely even reaching the comfort of his crime lab before being ousted to yet another scene of homicide, or occasionally suicide, after all, this was his job and unlike some of his friends, he loved it. It had been his dream to become a scientist, and working in the field of crime, well that was a major bonus. So with a grin etched on his face, Warrick headed out, to find whichever unfortunate citizen would become the object of his latest inquiry.

**Catherine:**

Catherine arrived at the crime scene ten minutes later than everyone else, and as usual, no one queried her delayed arrival, they all knew that it would have something to do with Lindsey. It was hard being a single parent, and since Ed had died, the struggle to hold her demanding job whilst being actively involved in her daughters' life had intensified. But this wasn't the time to think about such things, no matter how emotionally corrosive they were. That was why none of her colleagues were conveying their ever-growing concerns vocally, though their facial expressions told more than their speech ever could.

She was now being selfish, Catherine believed in self discipline and so reminded herself that at least she was, a living, breathing, healthy being, the person she had come to see certainly was not.

**Nick:**

The body was, well there was no other way to put it, gruesome. It was mutilated and the face had been completely deformed. The twisted limbs were in unnaturally contorted positions, draped over the metal rim of the slide. More irritatingly though, all the teeth had been forcefully removed, preventing the identification of the body through dental records, and he didn't see how else they would go about discovering the name of this latest victim, there was no way he could possibly have looked like this before his murder. But there was no point deliberating on this right now, it was time to collect any evidence to solve the case. Gazing at this body, Nick was desperate to ensure the capture of the sick bastard who had gone to such extreme methods to drag out the family and friends' hope that their loved one may still be alive, before the grieving must surely begin.

Astoundingly, there was a reasonable amount of evidence that was not all that difficult to discover, Nick had expected nothing short of a mastermind after surveying the corpse, but he was able to quite quickly recover a full hand print on the handle of both murder weapons (a pickaxe and a kitchen knife), which were placed within a one metre radius of the body. Why, Nick thought, would somebody prevent identification of the victim, yet leave their prints all over the murder weapons? Unless trying to prove a point, or maybe the perpetrator of this heinous crime simply enjoyed being barbaric.

**Sara:**

From the moment she crossed the threshold of the area marked clearly with police tape, Sara could tell this was going to be an interesting case. The location of the offence to begin with was, although not remarkable, intensely unsettling. The body was placed lying face up, glassy eyed, jammed halfway up a slide in a children's play park. It wasn't as if bodies were never found in comparable places, but the murderer in such a case was always deemed to be a more twisted individual, as they were openly admitting that in performing such acts of violence, they were also willing to permanently mentally scar infants in their quest to wreak havoc on the innocent. However much Sara desired a witness who could assist the capture of the killer, she would never, ever, wish for the mind of someone as pure and naive as a child to be destroyed, when she knew that without a witness, they could still solve this dilemma.

**Greg:**

Although it was highly distracting, Greg was now prepared for the arduous task of ignoring the press, no matter how hard they pressed him for the story. He was amazed that the presses arrival had proceeded his own, the media were like vultures, he decided, the second the kill had been made, they were ready to examine it, and fed off any information the authorities would disclose. Greg realised that he actually found all the reporters vastly amusing, the way they were discard their dignity for the sake of their jobs, although as he thought about it he realised that he himself, would do the same to retain the job he adored.

The scene had now been processed, that painstaking procedure was no complete, so Greg glanced at the fleeting image of the body, bagged up and being sent for an autopsy, he would, no doubt receive the results of this later on.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, chapter 2, and once again I do not own the programme

**Chapter 2- The Autopsy**

**Dr Albert Robbins:**

Another day, another death, another case. That's the way Albert perceived life anyway, and who wouldn't in his line of work. Today's autopsy was of a young male, approximately 23years in age. He seemed fit and healthy, well before his untimely death anyway, and although a dead body should have no longer provoked any emotion in Albert anymore, these were the worse ones to see. The bodies that obviously cared for themselves, not filling their blood stream with poisons such as drugs, and keeping themselves in an advisable condition. These were the ones who had had everything to live for, but were now on his autopsy table, evidently far from life. He knew it was time to block out his own sentiments and get on with the job in hand, the slicing open of human tissue, to reveal all the secrets that lay inside.

An hour or so later, Albert had completed the autopsy and was mildly disappointed, the outer wounds which he had hoped were merely superficial were in fact the cause of death. A blunt trauma to the head to be precise, consistent with a blow from the hammer that the team had previously found by the body, in theory the prints off that should lead them directly to the murderer. Slightly more unusual was the fact that there was no evidence to suggest that the victim had been moved from his place of death, suggesting that this man had been murdered in the position he had been found- jammed halfway up the slide. If this was in fact genuine, then, using the time of death as an indicator, there should be many witnesses, as test results showed that this man had died at 3:30pm, the previous day- this being primetime for mothers and young children in all the local play parks.

Ok, so now he new some facts it was time to report back to Grissom, although he wouldn't be favourable to this information, the one thing Grissom hated was members of the general public, those with nothing to hide, denying what they do know and pretending that whatever came to pass, didn't, trying to get on with their lives whilst others could not because this man was dead.

**Grissom:**

As predicted by Albert, Grissom became aggressive immediately after reading the autopsy report, the fingerprints had been processed but there were no matches on the system, it was time to track down their witnesses. The establishment most clearly connected with the park where the body was found was, unsurprisingly a school, Grissom new that he had to send some of his team down to talk to the students but this was going to be an uncomfortable decision. The obvious choice would be Catherine, as she had beneficial experience with children; however this was Lindsey's school, so Catherine's concern may get the better of her, thus influencing the investigation, but if Grissom did not appoint her to this task, she would feel left out. In the end, he decided that the solving of a homicide enquiry was more critical than bruising Catherine's self-confidence, no matter how scathing of her that may be, he would, instead, send Nick and Sara. He needed any statements he could get hold of, but in the meantime, he would examine all the existing evidence.


	3. Chapter 3

This is chapter 3, and once again I don't own the show.

**A school visit**

**Nick:**

Under the circumstances, such a visit should have seemed at least a bit distressing, but however insensitive Nick felt for having such sentiments, he loved spending time with all the children in the local schools. He turned around to see a resigned Sara following at slow pace, making a statement in this way, dragging her heels as if to say what he knew, that she really did not have a warm place in her heart for children. He on the other hand became ecstatic as he walked past the classrooms, the vibrant atmosphere created by their little cries of delight when something made sense was what really amused him; this priceless innocence was what life should all be about. Contrary to this notion was the entire purpose of this very visit, and so wishing not to intimidate the children, Nick sped up, striding in the direction of the head teachers office.

After a brief conversation with the greying gentleman, they were in the clear to wander around the classrooms as they pleased, gathering all the information possible, but this didn't all have to be work, they could relax a bit too.

**Sara:**

Children! She didn't know why but Sara had a deep loathing for such volatile creatures, well she kind of knew why. They were unhygienic, insolent, sickness spreading creatures, and even though she knew that they were necessary in sustaining the human race, she still recognized that she could never have any of her own. Nevertheless, a task was a task that had to be completed, but Sara would make sure that Nick couldn't prolong such a torture as actually conversing with the insane little defects of society; she would make this as quick and as painless as possible.

The operation of removing any information from inside the memories of the children was irritatingly painstaking as they were all so oblivious to the significance of the situation, and so pretended to know something and then didn't. The little monsters thought this was a game! Someone had died yet it was all a joke to them, she couldn't believe it. Then finally they struck gold, in the form of Catherine's daughter Lindsey. As useful as it was this was also equivalent to all their greatest fears, contradicting the hope that Lindsey could, at least maintain some stability in her life, after all her father had died recently.

**Nick:**

Lindsey knew too much and it was obviously affecting her greatly. She was not only a witness as it turned out, she had been involved, forced to place her hands on the murder weapons, leaving the prints discovered prior to the collection of any statements. Their key evidence was suddenly illegitimate, now their only hope seemed to be this openly disturbed child. With his high spirits dropping to the floor, Nick knew they would have to escort Lindsey to the crime lab as a key witness, and he was dreading it. Dreading the look on Catherine's face, dreading the prospect of divulging even deeper into the painful memories, just dreading everything, but it had to be done, there was no way round it. He was sympathising with both Catherine and Lindsey in his head, their lives had been turned upside down already, and they didn't need or deserve this. More importantly would they be able to cope, or ever recover?


	4. Chapter 4

**Quite short chapter, please review it doesn't take long and ill write more.**

**Catherine:**

When finally allowed to see her daughter, Catherine's concern had escalated to a height that only a mothers' could. She was shaking as vigorously as Lindsey was, but managing to evade the embarrassment of spilling tears in front of her colleagues, the same could not be said for the child she loved so dearly. Catherine had been taken off the case and therefore had no idea how much her daughter knew and how deeply involved she had been, but judging by the expression on her face, Lindsey was too far in. Catherine felt the numbness of failure rush through her bloodstream, she had not protected her daughter, and her purpose in life had been crushed when she had not been there. She had been too absent from Lindsey's life and now she was paying the price, how could you console someone who had witnessed a murder, all her training suddenly seemed irrespective, this was her daughter, how could she churn out textbook crap? Yet it was all she knew, she really had no idea how to deal with her own daughter, and that was why this had happened. All because Catherine had been so oblivious. She would take Lindsey home, they would talk together, cry together, do whatever a mother should do with her child, but Catherine would not be leaving Lindsey's side, not for a long time, no way.

**Grissom:**

They now knew so much, they could almost certainly apprehend their murderer now, they simply had to process some evidence and follow all of Lindsey's directions and descriptions. However this was a long way from the result Grissom had desired, with Catherine on compassionate leave, his team felt empty, and there was an element of mourning amongst all of them, even though no one new had died. This killer was beyond cold blooded having involved a child in his brutality, but he knew he was feeling more anger because that child was Lindsey. Would this compromise the whole investigation, could he run the risk of making an incorrect arrest simply because he felt personally involved in the enquiry, he was stuck in a dilemma as to whether he should send this case to another team on the basis of biased opinion, but he knew that his problems were incomparable to Catherine's.


End file.
